Provident Mom

About a year ago a thief broke into our house and went through our financial files. Checks were stolen, so we knew our checking account was in danger, but we also knew that all of our accounts were vulnerable. We immediately closed all of our accounts: credit cards, savings and checking accounts, retirement accounts, kids’ college 529 accounts. We needed a game plan that would protect our assets and our identity. We did a lot of research and came up with a plan. Here’s a list of things you can do to protect yourself and your family from identity theft.

1. Destroy account statements and other financial documents instead of throwing them in the trash. Thieves can get an amazing amount of information about people from their garbage cans. They can get account numbers, birthdates, social security numbers, credit card applications, and even checks they can use to access your credit. Shred all these documents before you throw them away or you risk identity theft through your trash.
2. Freeze your credit. With a simple letter to the credit reporting agencies, you can freeze your credit, meaning no one can open an account in your name unless several safety precautions are taken. This can be inconvenient because you won’t be able to instantly open a credit account; however, these safety precautions can save you a lot of money and headache in the long run. And freezing your credit doesn’t cost you a dime.
3. Get a locking mailbox. Mail theft is on the rise because thieves know they can get a lot of information about you through your mail. Also, never put bills in your mailbox for your mail carrier to pick up. That little red flag that alerts the mail carrier to pick up your mail will also alert thieves that your information is available for the taking. Instead, drop your bills in a big blue mailbox with daily pickup.
4. Thoroughly check all bank statements and credit card statements for errors. Balancing your checkbook every month can be a hassle, but if you don’t you could miss charges racked up by thieves.
5. Don’t carry more in your wallet than you need. Don’t carry checks in your wallet, and carry as few cards as possible. With your driver’s license, a couple of credit cards, and a checkbook, a thief has a lot of access to you. Carry the bare minimum.
6. Opt out of internet searches. Once the thief had been in our house and been through our files, we wanted to know how much information he had about us. We did a few searches on the internet and found that with just our names and address, he could find out our birthdates and even all the places we’ve lived. This is great information for thieves to have if they want to take out loans in someone else’s name. Contact sites like www.peoplefinder.com and www.zabasearch.com, and ask them to remove your information from their databases.
7. Be careful with PINs. When you’re at an ATM or bank walk-up station, be careful with your PIN number. Be aware of the people around you, and be discreet with your information.
8. Be careful with your social security number. Your social security number is coveted by identity thieves because it can unlock many doors for them. Never give your social security number over the phone, even if you think you’re talking with a reputable company. For that matter, make a personal policy to not give personal information over the phone. A reputable company will work with you on this matter.

“Green” is the marketing word of 2008. Every company peddling auto insurance, cleaning products, trucks, baby food, copy machine paper, toothpaste, and t-shirts insists that you can be “green” if you buy certain slightly-more-expensive-than-average products. And why wouldn’t you? Because it’s cool to be “green.”

Never mind that these green products have very little to do with conserving energy or cutting down on emissions. If you have the outward appearance of being green, then you’re considered righteous by team green.

The ironies of this scam are endless, and I as a consumer feel patronized by the whole thing. There are genuine ways to be environmentally conscious, but buying specially packaged “green” lotion and soap gift sets is not one of them. Do they take us for fools?

Recently NPR did a story about the evils of suburban living. They focused on a couple who worked in Atlanta and lived 70 minutes outside the city. The husband and wife both worked, and they drove separate cars into Atlanta every weekday after they dropped their son off at daycare. The wife picked up fast food on the way home every night because in their busy schedule there was no time for cooking. And they lived in a 3,000 square foot house. NPR decried their consumption caused by suburbia.

I have a different take on this story. I propose that this family could be happier and more responsible (financially, emotionally, and even environmentally) if they became a one-income family. If the wife stayed home with their son, they wouldn’t have to pay for daycare or a horrific commute or fast food every night. They might want to live in a smaller house, which would be more appropriate for a one-income, three-person family. Green matters aside, the greatest benefit to this family and society as a whole would be a better adjusted happier family, a family that has time to eat and play and work together.

This obsessive focus on “greenness” distracts our attention away from things that really matter. When it comes down to it, provident living is environmentally sound. If you’re living within your means, preparing for the future, and raising responsible children, you’re doing things right. You don’t have to hang out with the cool kids to have peace of mind.

I heard a story this morning about a mother who began writing notes to her daughter. She wrote a short note every day and put it in her room. The notes were simple things like, “Thanks for helping to clear the table tonight” or “You looked beautiful in that blue shirt today.”

One day the mother was vacuuming while the daughter was away and closed the girl’s door to vacuum behind it. There she saw all the notes taped to the back of the door, a visual reminder of her mother’s love for her.

I loved this story for a couple of reasons. First, it gave me a great idea. Second, it made me think about how vulnerable we all are. We all need encouragement and thanks and praise, but we don’t always get it. Notes are a great way to fortify people in this way. People can always look at an encouraging note and get that boost again when they need it. And one little note can provide that uplift again and again.

Tonight I wrote a note to each of my three children. I noticed that one of them used it as a bookmark. One quoted to me from it. And third has made no mention of it whatsoever. I think I’ll keep trying it because I think love is a more powerful inoculation against despair than anything else.